SERIOUSLY?!?! I CANNOT believe this is happening to me. I guess I should've seen it coming....i've been unusually 'healthy' all through training. I kept thinking it was slightly odd that I wasn't the one who was injured.
When my teammates were broken down, i felt great.
Despite a few minor shin pains, i felt great.
over 4 months of training, i felt great.
18 miles, 20 miles, 22 miles, i felt great.
But now, less than 1 week until the big marathon, i do NOT feel great. I feel awful.
Honestly, i don't know what happened. I was doing a nice 6 mile run last Tuesday, and BAM!!! Mile 4, my right leg was screaming at me to stop. So i walked, and then i jogged. I walked, I jogged. And finally I made it back home, limping.
Ok, fine. This is kind of normal. My shins sometimes hurt a little bit when i'm done running.
Ok, fine. Ice. Stretch.
Ok, fine. This will go away eventually.
Ok, not fine. This is killing me.
So i listened to orders from Josh to bench myself for my softball game the next day, and to lay off of running for 'awhile'.
But Saturday was our last group training run, and i wasn't about to miss that, and it was only 8 miles. That shouldn't be a problem. Plus, my leg was feeling better with 4 days of no running. So me and my archnemesis 'The Shin' started jogging.
About 10 steps into the run, i knew i should've been on the elliptical machine instead.
OW, step, OW, step, OW........i managed to eek out some kind of limp-tastic stride and made it to the water stop/turnaround at mile 4. Thankfully, Josh was there and helped me to swallow my pride and quit at 4 miles. He drove me back to my car, i talked to koach karl, and went home for a pretty wimpy ice bath.
Helping my brother and sis-in-law move that afternoon probably wasn't the best idea, but i did it anyway. Yesterday, i iced. And stretched. And iced. And stretched. And went to the pool to catch some rays and do a little swimming. Because, that can't be bad for my leg, right?
Wrong, it still hurt. My knee, my shin, my ankle. The pain just travels throughout my entire lower right leg.
I don't know what to do. I have instructions from Koach to not run until the big day. Hang out on the elliptical, bike, swim, yoga. But don't run.
So, if you know me, you know how hard this is for me to do. i'm stubborn. i want to run. i NEED to run. my marathon is SIX days away!!!
But, i'm going to do everything i can to be ready next Sunday. I'm scared. SCARED TO DEATH. Scared that i won't be able to run. Scared that i'll think i'm ready to run 26.2 miles, only to be overwhelmed by pain after only a mile.
I try not to worry about that now. I'll stay off my feet as much as i can. I'll keep icing. I'll keep stretching. I'll keep praying that i can just make it 26.2 miles.
But SERIOUSLY?!?! why now? This is not what i want to be worrying about. I should be worrying about what i'm going to pack. I should be worrying about what flavor of Gu i'm going to carry with me. I should be looking forward to my vacation from work.
But i'm not. I'm frustrated. I'm sad. I'm in pain. I'm struggling to stay optimistic. I'm trying to be strong. But last night, it was too much for me.
and i cried.
i cried for my body. i cried for those who are expecting me to run great. i cried because my boyfriend is 2,000 miles away. i cried because i'm frustrated with work. i cried because i can't find God's humor in this whole situation. and i cried because i want to run.
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- Katie
- i'm from a small town with big dreams and a passion for running. i left the Midwest to live in the awesome Northwest and i absolutely love it! i have an amazing husband and family and friends who support me in my many random ideas.
5 comments:
I told you on the phone, but I'll say it again. You will be great this Sunday. You'll get through everything and cross that finish line with a huge smile and sense of relief. You've trained for it. You're ready. I have no doubt.
sometimes a girl just needs a good cry, dammit! so cry, cry your heart out! but remember that all these things that you are frustrated about will work themselves out. and my smiling face will still be in san diego next weekend whether you run 1 mile or 26.2 miles! i'm sure that this is the last thing that you want to hear, but it's true: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! (so just think how strong you're getting!)
i know exactly how you're feeling right now... i had an IT band flare up on me 2 weeks before my marathon last year, and i was in much the same position you are, so here is my advice...
go to Gary Gribbles and buy copius amounts of Bio-Freeze. carry this with you along with your Gu, it will be your life saver. take some ibuprofen along in a plastic baggie as well, cuz it super helps, and just be ready to run with pain.
you know your body well enough to know if it's pain, or injury. if it's just pain... get your mind wrapped around the fact that you might be running with pain on sunday. you've worked long and hard for this day, regardless if you have to walk part of it, crawl part of it... gnaw your leg off and hop part of it...
you're going to finish.
you may be frustrated, sad, angry.. you might tell off karl in the middle of the race (well.. thats what i did)... but you'll finish. and a few weeks down the road, you won't even remember the pain. you'll just remember the experience, and you'll know more of who you are and what you're made of than you ever thought possible!
I heart you. You will be super fantastic on Sunday. I'll ask God for help, but you know how he feels about me sometimes, but I'll ask none-the-less.
I waited a few days to comment because I am the last person on earth to know anything about what you're going through. I can't run two miles straight, let alone twenty-two.
What I *will* say, however, is that I don't care if you run .262 miles or 26.2. I'm proud of you either way. Proud of you for not giving up a long time ago, as I know I would have. Proud of you for continuing to want to run, even when hurt.
I know the marathon is important to be focused on. But you should also stop momentarily and look back at how much you've already accomplished. What you've done is amazing. And you will be amazing next weekend. I'm sure of it.
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