this day

this day...April 19...i'm not a fan of it at all. and i feel that more so than any other day of the year it always brings up a mixture of emotions for me.

most notable to many people is that 12 years ago the Oklahoma City bombings occurred and i can remember where i was, what i was doing, and how incomprehensible it was. i was in 7th grade social studies class when we were told about the bombing and watched in disbelief as the events of the day unfolded.

this is one of the main reasons why i really wanted to take part in the Oklahoma City Memorial (Half) Marathon next weekend. and in some small way, it's a chance for me to honor the victims and their families.

but this day...April 19...cemented itself as one of the worst days of my life when i was a senior in high school. i don't talk about it much, many of my close friends don't even know this part of my life. but every year it's an unavoidable sorrow that hangs over my head. and with the recent events at Virginia Tech and all of the bomb threats around this area lately, i can't help but weep.

my senior class was exactly one month away from graduation, we had just had our senior prom 'Heaven Awaits', and our close knit group of 88 students were loving life and looking forward to that last month before we all said our goodbyes and headed off on our separate ways.

but this day...April 19, 1999... this day would forever change us.

every year, the senior class would help participate in the city-wide cleanup. as part of our community service, we would assist the city workers in picking up unwanted large items that people put out on their curbs. it was a day to be excused from classes, get out and enjoy the weather, and goof off as we drove around town looking for garbage.

this day....it's still as vivid as the day it happened.....a group of about 8 of my friends had split into two trucks as we drove around and we were headed back to the dropoff spot to unload. we had to find spots to sit amongst the trash in the truck beds and i was in the lead truck, facing backwards, waving to the girls in the truck behind us.

we were driving down Main Street, they were sitting in their truck bed also, atop mattresses, chairs, boxes....Tara waved back and giggled.

and then the wind blew.

the gust caught the edge of the mattress she was sitting on. she was just a little girl and the wind flipped that mattress, knocking her off onto the pavement like a ragdoll. her boyfriend was sitting next to me, and we noticed that nobody in her truck had seen her fall, so we pointed and yelled that they wait for her to hop back on the truck.

but she didn't get up.

she never got up.

they life flighted her to Topeka, and we were sent back to school where we waited all afternoon to hear good news. it never came.

It didn't make sense. The truck was only going 20 mph, she only fell 4 feet. she was doing community service...one month from graduation...she was headed to college to be a teacher just like her mom.

Tara never woke up. She died that afternoon and our lives were forever changed.

There is a picture of Tara at prom, beaming from ear to ear, standing under the words 'Heaven Awaits'...and it makes me smile.

this day. April 19. it's a day of remembrance.